


divine

by whatsgyud



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, M/M, based off a weird dream i had so, hello! i tried my best, hope yall enjoy, its still fictional so some of it may not make sense, light angst?, meanie, mentions of suicide and homophobia but not graphic, nobody dies guys its fine, non-au, stream home yay!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:30:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsgyud/pseuds/whatsgyud
Summary: “our lips touched and the universe smiled.” ~prakhar sahay





	divine

**Author's Note:**

> just minwon things!
> 
>  
> 
> do note that the italics in this fic are all fragments of wonwoo's thoughts and none of them are mingyu's !

wonwoo had just reached the dorm after his morning schedule with jeonghan. 

 

to say he was tired was an understatement.

 

he had been running around the whole morning and filming a broadcast with barely two to three hours of sleep and a dose of caffeine in the morning and the after-effects of his insomnia and string of continuous activities was starting to take a toll on him.

 

which explains why he should be eating a full proper meal and trying to get some more sleep, yet here he was, at four in the afternoon, with an empty stomach and with droopy eyelids and dark eye circles, playing some video game that jihoon had introduced him to.

 

his stomach starts to rumble and grumble lowly in hunger after having had nothing for the past few meals and wonwoo would usually ignore its calls for food but this time, he felt that if he did not force something into the damned digestive system of his, then his stomach would just eat itself and the horrors of that forced him to move his butt off the floor and stretch before he headed out in search of food.

 

he placed a hand on his tummy, wondering what he could possibly eat at this hour, if there was any food left. he wasn’t craving the rice that he knew his other members had had for lunch but he wanted something that would be equally satisfiable to his stomach.

 

_ i kinda want some ramyun _ , he pondered to himself.

 

now, if anyone wanted ramyun there were two things they could do: take out the instant ramyun packets and make it themselves or have the ramyun genius mingyu, make it for them.

 

wonwoo padded down the hallway in search of mingyu’s room where he assumed the younger to be since he did not have any schedules. but on the way, he bumped into mingyu’s roommate, jihoon.

 

“wonwoo, you look terrible,” jihoon said wrinkling his nose and scrunching his face up in disgust.

 

“yeah, thanks jihoon, not all of us look as peachy as you do,” wonwoo snapped.

 

“where are you going, have you eaten?” jihoon asked, his face etched with mild concern.

 

“i haven’t eate-”

 

“WHAT?” jihoon screamed.

 

“you haven’t eaten? but you didn’t eat this morning or last night either what do you mean you haven’t eaten? how are you ALIVE?” jihoon continued to scream and wonwoo wanted to put some duct tape over the producer’s mouth.

 

“i’m gonna eat now, go away,” he said.

 

“mingyu’s in the room by the way,” jihoon smirked and winked, making wonwoo want to pick him up and throw him across the hallway.

 

if there was a problem wonwoo had other than his insomnia and bad habit of not eating, then it was huge fatass crush on the tallest member of the group.

 

he gulped as he neared his room.

 

the door was fully open, which probably meant he would not need to knock. he peered inside and was greeted by the sight of mingyu sitting on the floor in front of his cupboard and folding his clothes.

 

mingyu was wearing a black tee and striped pyjama pants, giving him that casual, just-got-out-of-bed look and his fake glasses were on too. mingyu wasn’t as blind as wonwoo to need glasses but he guessed the younger just enjoyed wearing them for the sake of fashion. 

 

wonwoo stood there for a couple more seconds, just gazing at the way mingyu’s biceps worked as he folded the clothes. mingyu could literally just be folding clothes and wonwoo would compare his visuals to that of a greek god.

 

wonwoo inhaled and exhaled before taking a dainty step into the room. he clasped his hands together and stood there, his head hung low and he bit his lip. he looked like nervousness personified.

 

mingyu noticed the presence of someone in his peripheral vision. he folded the shirt in his hand and put it away before turning around to see who the silent intruder was.

 

“wonwoo hyung? what happened?” he asked, his eyes wide with shock to see his wonwoo hyung standing there so silently. he scanned the older boy, only to see that he looked devastatingly skinnier and his eyes were sunken and his dark eye circles were prominent. 

 

“oh, mingyu-ah, a-are you busy right now?” the older boy mumbled, fumbling with his fingers.

 

“i was just cleaning up,” mingyu replied, standing up and dusting off his pants.

 

“hyung, you look so tired, have you eaten?” mingyu probed worriedly as he walked towards his hyung. he knew since predebut days that the older had the tendency to skip meals and it had always made him worried but due to his own busy schedules nowadays, he found it hard to keep track of whether he was eating properly or not. he really wished his hyung was more responsible in those aspects, but that day was yet to come. 

 

wonwoo shook his head in reply to mingyu’s question and he knew the younger would hate it that he had not eaten yet. he did not dare to make any eye contact with mingyu.

 

“hyung, you’ve got to be kidding me,” mingyu whined with a cute pout.

 

“you haven’t eaten this morning either, right? i don’t remember you eating last night, either. gosh, hyung, i’m gonna have to quit the group and become your personal nanny at this rate,” mingyu said jokingly although the concern was etched deep in his tone.

 

“do you want ramyun?” mingyu asked, eyeing his hyung.

 

wonwoo finally looked up and straight at mingyu and nodded his head furiously but he retreated and mumbled, “but you must be busy, i’m sorry for disturbing you.”

 

“hyung, your health is more important to me than cleaning my room, come on,” mingyu said as he grabbed for wonwoo’s cool and clammy hand and dragged him to the open kitchen in the living room.

 

wonwoo stood awkwardly next to mingyu, who was in a flurry, trying to find the packets of instant ramyun. 

 

“hyung, you should sit, i’ll bring the ramyun to you,” mingyu said, gesturing vaguely to the dinner table in the living room. wonwoo flitted his eyes to it but he did not want to sit there. he wanted to be and spend time with mingyu.

 

“n-no, it’s ok, i’ll just sit here,” he said, heaving himself up onto the counter space next to the stove where the ramyun was cooking. mingyu raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.

 

“whatever suits you, hyung,” he said shrugging his shoulders.

 

they watched and waited together in a comfortable silence as the water boiled and ramyun got cooked. wonwoo would be lying if he said he was watching the ramyun. he could not take his eyes off the addictive honey gold skin of the boy in front of him. 

 

he was snapped out of his reverie, however, when he heard a voice call out for mingyu.

 

“mingyu-yah, is there any leftover rice from lunch,” jihoon asked as he sauntered towards the refrigerator.

 

“ah, yes there should be some leftover, since someone here didn’t eat,” mingyu commented sarcastically, his eyes darting to wonwoo, who bashfully looked down at his own fingers.

 

“heat up some for me, will you?” jihoon asked before leaving to go back to his room.

 

“sure, jihoonie hyung,” mingyu muttered after realising jihoon had already left. he put it in a microwaveable bowl and set the timer before heading back to the ramyun.

 

wonwoo, on the other hand, had started moping quietly by himself again. he hated hearing mingyu call jihoon jihoonie hyung because it seemed like they had something special going on with that kind of use of nicknames. mingyu didn’t really have a nickname for wonwoo. it was just the same bland “wonwoo hyung”.

 

“what’re you thinking about, hyung?” mingyu questioned, snapping the older boy out of his daze.

 

“nothing,” wonwoo said and gladly accepted the warm bowl of ramyun. 

 

he expected mingyu to just walk back to his room to continue his work or fold his clothes but he stayed in the kitchen, smiling at wonwoo who was shyly digging into the ramyun with his chopsticks. wonwoo was not going to act like he completely did not enjoy the attention.

 

_ beep.  _

 

_ oh yeah, the rice. _

 

wonwoo’s small smile turned upside down into a frown, when he realised mingyu was probably still there for the rice and not for him. the truth hurts, but wonwoo knew he was getting too far ahead of himself.

 

mingyu took out the bowl of rice and called out for jihoon who promptly came and snatched it away before going to the dining table to eat it in peace and quiet.

 

_ any second now, _ wonwoo thought.

 

“hyung, you aren’t eating,” mingyu said, looking at the bowl that wonwoo was deeply frowning at.

 

“oh, sorry,” wonwoo apologised, the heat rushing to his ears.

 

mingyu stood directly in front of wonwoo, in between his legs and looked at him with that sparkle in his eyes that made wonwoo want to melt and kiss him at the same time.

 

“do you like the food, hyung?”

 

“yes, it’s very nice. thank you for making it for me, mingyu-yah,” wonwoo said, smiling with his infamous nose scrunch that made mingyu weak to his knees.

 

“anything for you, hyung,” mingyu whispered and wonwoo could feel the blood rushing to color his cheeks and ears a dark red. 

 

“aren’t you gonna go back and clean your room?” wonwoo asked, a little uncertain.

 

“nope,” mingyu said, popping the ‘p’. “i’m gonna stay right here and watch you and make sure you finish it all up,” mingyu said, his eyes gazing intensely at wonwoo. his mouth was wide open in a smile, showing his two sets of gleaming teeth and the adorable sharp canines that wonwoo was so weak for.

 

wonwoo gobbled up the rest of the food quickly while under the intense gaze of the younger. he bet mingyu could see him blush so hard and he didn’t know if mingyu was too blind to notice it or if mingyu was just not saying anything about it.

 

“thank you for the food, mingyu-yah, it was delicious,” wonwoo smiled, handing the empty bowl back to mingyu, who just stuffed it into the dishwasher. wonwoo slid off the counter top and realised sadly, he should just probably head back to his room now and just continue playing his stupid boring video games because that was all he did anyways.

 

“wonwoo hyung, wait!” mingyu almost screamed when he saw the older walking out of the kitchen. wonwoo’s heart almost jumped out his rib-cage and he froze in his tracks, trying to calm it down.

 

“ah, sorry if i scared you, hyung,” mingyu apologised bashfully, with his head hung low which scratching the back of his neck.

 

“don’t scream like that next time, you idiot, i almost got a heart attack,” wonwoo complained.

 

“sorry sorry, hyung, it’s just, um,” mingyu started, his eyes darting left and right and he seemed a little anxious to wonwoo. wonwoo just continued to stare blankly at him.

 

“ah, it’s just that, there is this new chinese restaurant that opened and i was wondering if you wanted to come with me,” mingyu asked shyly, without even daring to look at wonwoo even once.

 

wonwoo felt fireworks set off in his heart but something told him it was a bad idea to go with it. sure, it sounded like mingyu was asking him out on a date. but then again, mingyu was not even gay. it’s just a friendly invitation to go out but wonwoo wanted to avoid it, avoid anything that might mislead him, avoid anything close to a heartbreak.

 

“why don’t you go with minghao?” he suggested but mingyu quickly looked wonwoo in the eye and pouted so adorably and stomped his foot like the little baby he was.

 

_ ugh, kim mingyu, stop making me want to squish your cheeks. _

 

“hyung, stop playing around with me, minghao’s in china..” he whined. so this was the reason why mingyu wanted to go to the restaurant with him, wonwoo thought. not because the younger liked him or wanted to be friendly, it was because his first choice for restaurant buddy was not available.

 

wonwoo was probably overthinking this way more than he should be but that didn’t stop him from feeling like a second choice or a substitute.

 

“go with jun then,” wonwoo suggested, ready to turn back and run to his room where he could just wallow in his self-pity but mingyu just let out the loudest whiny noise wonwoo had ever heard from a grown-ass 6’2 man. he really was a baby stuck in that tall body.

 

“but jun, was the one who recommended the place, he already went last week,” mingyu whined, holding onto wonwoo’s hand which was starting sweat profusely.

 

“so, i’m sure he can go again,” wonwoo replied curtly.

 

“ah, hyung, you don’t get it. i want to go with YOU.” mingyu whined, jabbing a finger into wonwoo’s rib-cage while the hand holding wonwoo’s pulled him closer.

 

“please, hyung,” and when mingyu was pleading like that, with those soft puppy eyes that looked so close to tearing, and his cherry lips turned into a cute pout, how on earth could wonwoo say no?

 

how on earth? could? wonwoo ever? say? no?

 

so this was how, wonwoo was getting ready, a couple of hours later, trying to pick what to wear for his dinner out with the visual tree.

 

he decided on a blue turtleneck and white coat to wear over. he pondered on whether he should just wear his glasses but decided to put in a bit more effort into tonight and put on his contact lenses instead.

 

he met mingyu at the entrance of the dorm and he could feel the fireworks go off in his heart the moment he landed his eyes on him.

 

_ this is such a bad idea _ , he thought and yet the thrill and exhilaration of it all was what made him walk towards mingyu.

 

mingyu was wearing a long brown coat with jeans and wonwoo felt insecure all of a sudden.

 

_ did he look good enough for mingyu? _

 

‘hyung! you look good,” mingyu said, looking down at wonwoo with such a fond look that wonwoo felt butterflies erupt in his stomach.

 

_ if mingyu says i look good, then i look good. _

 

“is it okay if we take the subway?” mingyu asked.

 

“yeah, sure, i don’t mind,” wonwoo smiled, looking up at mingyu. yeah, he liked this. he could get used to this.

 

_ but he shouldn’t. _

 

they reached the subway station and were having a casual conversation, mostly about their solo schedules. wonwoo had asked mingyu about his inkigayo emcee work and whenever mingyu talked about his co-emcee, he could feel a slight pinprick in his heart.

 

the pinprick came with a name: jealousy.

 

“oh, hyung, but that day, you sent me a starbucks coupon on kakaotalk, i was so grateful, you know. thank you so much, hyung,” mingyu said, a smile playing on his cherry lips.

 

“aish, you don’t have to thank me. it was the least i could do, you worked really hard,” wonwoo said, blushing over the fact that mingyu still remembered that small little gesture of kindness he had shown. 

 

the train arrived and it was packed with people of all ages, who were squeezed together to fit the small space capacity of the train. mingyu and wonwoo were pushed all the way to the centre of the carriage and mingyu gripped onto one of the railings since all the handles were taken. several others gripped onto the pole or the handles or the railings as well, leaving wonwoo with nothing to hold onto. 

 

wonwoo tried to keep his balance throughout the train ride but there was a particular bump that caused the whole train to jerk and that almost made him topple over onto the girl next to him.

 

almost. 

 

thankfully, mingyu’s arm reached out and wrapped itself around wonwoo’s waist just in time to stop him from falling over and wonwoo felt so warm, so fucking warm, with mingyu’s arm around him like that. 

 

_ this is the most cliched drama-like scene i’ve ever been and i’m not even complaining. _

 

“hyung, you should hold onto me,” mingyu whispered into his ear, his breath tickling wonwoo’s ever-sensitive skin. wonwoo looked at him hesitantly but slowly reached out to hold onto mingyu’s bicep firmly, so that he would not fall over again. 

 

_ i need to stop blushing so hard. _

 

they finally reached their stop and mingyu still had his hand on wonwoo’s waist as he guided them out through the throng of people.

 

“wow, it was so crowded, i can finally breathe,” mingyu said as they walked together side by side to the restaurant. wonwoo could not agree more, he enjoyed the light breeze. it would be nice if they could go on a night walk after they ate.

 

_ don’t keep your hopes up. _

 

they entered the restaurant and it was, very packed. wonwoo wondered worriedly how long it was going to take for them to get a seat at this rate. why did it suddenly seem like there was so many people everywhere?

 

a waitress came up to the two boys and mingyu pointed out that he had made a reservation which made wonwoo pleasantly surprised. the lady directed them towards an empty seat near the window and took the reservation sign away.

 

wonwoo sat down opposite mingyu and looked around the whole restaurant. the whole place was filled with effervescent chatter and the sound of cutlery clanking against each other. wonwoo loved the cool golden light that had also coloured the restaurant. the waitress finally came back with the menus and wonwoo quickly scanned through it but he did not find anything in particular that he wanted to eat. mingyu had already put down the menu and was telling the waitress what he wanted to try out and asked her few questions about the food available too.

 

wonwoo let out a snort while a small smile crept onto his face. of course, mingyu was a foodie, it was not new for wonwoo to see him ask ten million questions about the various dishes.

 

“wonwoo hyung, what would you like?” mingyu asked immediately after hearing wonwoo’s snort. Wonwoo covered his mouth, he really wanted to laugh but he composed himself and simply said, “choose anything for me, i don’t really know what to order.”

 

mingyu quirked his eyebrows as though he had been issued a challenge. he quickly scanned through the menu again and told the waiter what to bring for the older boy and wonwoo was excited to eat whatever mingyu had chosen for him.

 

they continued their casual conversation, talking about various things, such as wonwoo’s gaming habit, that mingyu felt very strongly against.

 

“hyung, but you’re always in the room playing games,” mingyu groaned.

 

“your coups hyung also plays games,” wonwoo said, trying to defend himself.

 

“hyung, but he doesn’t even play as much as you do. you’re always in the room and you forget to eat and some days i don’t see you at all and i-,” mingyu cut himself off and gulped.

 

“you? you what?” wonwoo probed, leaning in closer across the table.

 

“i- i just miss you, okay? how do your tiny fingers not even get tired from pressing buttons while you play, anyways?” mingyu said trying to change the subject but wonwoo felt like everything around him had slowed down and blurred out after hearing those first few words.

 

_ he missed me? _

 

wonwoo decided to ignore the sudden irregularity of his heartbeat, and the heat rising in his cheeks and ears and how he was probably flushing a deep red all the way down to his neck.

 

“fuck you, my hands ain’t that tiny,” wonwoo said and mingyu put his hand out and wonwoo put his palm against mingyu’s as comparison.

 

“your thumb is fucking short, mingyu-ah,” wonwoo laughed heartily. mingyu grinned and intertwined his fingers with wonwoo so that their hands met in a sweet embrace. wonwoo kind of felt giddy from the amount of skin contact but he did not dare to pull away and neither did mingyu. 

 

wonwoo could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. he tried to pry his fingers away from mingyu’s grasp.

 

“mingyu, i need to pick up my phone,” wonwoo said, still trying to pull away.

 

“you have another hand hyung, use it,” mingyu grinned mischievously as he watched his hyung try to reach for the phone in his back pocket and answer the call. after the call sqiftly ended, they continued their conversation.

 

the steaming dishes had arrived at the table and wonwoo wondered with wide eyes how many more dishes were going to keep coming. he knew mingyu was a foodie and would have wanted to try a lot of the available dishes but wasn’t this a tad too much to finish?

 

mingyu set a particular dish in front of wonwoo and wonwoo looked at it in amazement. it looked absolutely mouth-watering and he was itching for a bite. 

 

the two boys started eating their meals, with mingyu constantly adding a few more food items for wonwoo to try out on his plate and occasionally feeding wonwoo as well. wonwoo enjoyed the food and he was more than shocked to see that mingyu had actually managed to finish up all the food that had been spread on the table.

 

_ big boy, big appetite, that’s so cute. _

 

after they were done, mingyu paid for the food, although wonwoo insisted on at least paying for his share but mingyu was too good at this whole argument and debate thing and wonwoo ultimately gave up and let him do what he wanted to.

 

_ this is really starting to feel like a date.. and i hate that. _

 

“i don’t know what you ordered for me, but it was amazing, thank you mingyu-yah,” wonwoo said, looking at mingyu as though he were the love of his life. which... he was.

 

“hyung, you need to stop thanking me all the time. anyways, i knew you’d like it. i’m glad you really enjoyed it.” wonwoo looked into mingyu eyes and saw how mingyu’s eyes held stars in them and boy, was he falling in deeper than ever before.

 

_ i’m scared. _

 

“let’s go out and walk around hyung!” mingyu said, the eager puppy vibes flowing back into him. he grabbed wonwoo’s hand and dragged him along as they started to walk around the area and wonwoo had to tell the over-excited boy to calm down.

 

they walked and talked to each other and they shared so many laughs, wonwoo really did not want this night to ever end. they were walking near the riverside and wonwoo was just having so much fun he did not even take note of his surroundings. all he could see and hear was mingyu and he was so high up on cloud nine he could not care about anything else around him.

 

it was only when mingyu stopped at a particular standpoint and leaned back at the railings did wonwoo look around to appreciate the light night breeze and the city skyline.

 

_ this place looks familiar. _

 

he gulped as he continued to scan the surroundings and listen to mingyu talk at the same time. he looked over the railing and into the river to see the reflection of the moon shining bright back at him. this place was all too familiar.

 

“hyung, i’m so glad i could spend time with you today, you know. it’s so fun to hang out with you and hear you talk and see you smile and lau- hyung?” mingyu asked worriedly when he saw wonwoo’s pale face staring into the river as though he had been caught in some trance. he slowly moved to place a hand on wonwoo’s shoulder and the slight contact itself made wonwoo jerk away from the railing. 

 

“wonwoo hyung? are you alright?” mingyu asked anxiously. 

 

“i- i need to go home, mingyu-ah,” wonwoo said, his bottom lip quivering. his eyes were welling up with tears and he could not even see mingyu clearly in front of him anymore. 

 

“h-hyung? ok, if you say so, i’ll get us a cab, yeah,” mingyu said, getting closer to wonwoo and clasping their hands together. 

 

_ i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry, i’m much more of a mess than i seem to be. i’m sorry. _

 

mingyu’s arms came to wrap around wonwoo’s waist and pulled wonwoo into a tight hug. wonwoo could not hold it in anymore, he was never strong enough to hold in those damned tears of his so he let himself break.

 

he snuggled himself into mingyu’s warm and firm chest and cried into his coat, feeling bad every second that it became more and more drenched with his tears.

 

_ i’m such a loser, i can’t even stop crying, what’s wrong with me? _

 

“no, no, that’s not true. you’re not a loser for crying, it’s ok to cry, you’re human. everyone cries, hyung, it’s fine,” and hearing those comforting words from the taller boy only made him cry even more. mingyu hailed a cab and ushered the crying wonwoo inside. wonwoo’s loud sobs turned softer and softer until they just became sniffles and mingyu put his arm around his waist and guided him to sit closer and bury his head into the crook of his neck.

 

in the next few seconds, the sounds were completely gone and was replaced with rhythmic breathing instead.

 

“oh, he’s asleep,” mingyu wondered out loud.

 

when the cab reached the dorm, the uncle asked mingyu if he needed any help but mingyu politely declined and just carried wonwoo bridal-style out of the car and into the dorm. when mingyu reached the dorm, the lights were still on which meant most of the members must still be awake.

 

“MINGYU!” seokmin screamed as he came barrelling towards the two boys and mingyu wanted to throw his shoe right at him for being so loud and almost waking the sleeping boy up. 

 

“seokmin-ah, do you want to sleep in my room tonight? can i use your room for tonight, please? i swear jihoonie hyung is the best roommate ever!” mingyu exclaimed as he walked towards seokmin’s room.

 

“uh, sure, i guess? just don’t do anything weird,” he said before moving into mingyu’s room. 

 

mingyu set wonwoo down on the bed and took of his coat and threw on a white shirt he found in seokmin’s wardrobe. he wondered if he should help wonwoo undress and put on something more comfortable but it made him feel like he was breaching his privacy.

 

“oh, but he looks so uncomfortable in the clothes,” mingyu muttered to himself.

 

he padded silently towards the bed, trying not to make any sound that might make wonwoo stir in his sleep. he carefully slipped wonwoo out of the white coat and heaved a sigh of relief when he got the whole thing off without waking him up. he neatly folded the coat and placed it on an empty chair in the room. he turned back to wonwoo to remove his turtleneck as well but before he could even get close to touching it, wonwoo shot out of the bed into a sitting position and heaved heavily. his breathing was back to being irregular and erratic and mingyu got even more anxious when he noticed the tears streaming down his hyung’s face.

 

mingyu moved towards him, with quiet steps, not wanting to startle the boy who seemed to be deep in his own thoughts. wonwoo had his arms wrapped around his knees and his muffled wailing was making mingyu’s own heart break. he had never really dealt with someone who suddenly started crying like this and he felt so useless that he could not do anything to help the situation.

 

he unwrapped wonwoo’s arms from around his knees and brought the light and fragile boy closer to him until he was straddling his lap. wonwoo automatically wrapped his legs around mingyu’s waist and wrapped his bony arms around his neck and continued to let tears fall, causing mingyu’s white shirt to become soaked again.

 

mingyu let him cry. he did not care that the other members could probably hear wonwoo’s wailing. he did not care that this was the second shirt getting soaked by wonwoo’s tears. he did not care that he was so clueless on what was going on. all he cared about was wonwoo.

 

what could have possibly hurt wonwoo so much?

 

he stroked wonwoo’s back and hugged him tight enough to let wonwoo know that he was there for him. he could feel wonwoo calming down and mingyu snuggled him a little closer.

 

“hyung…” 

 

“i- i’m sorry i’m such a mess, i’m sorry i ruined the night, i’m s-sorry i’m not good enough for anyone, i-i’m sorry i’m such a burden, i’m sorry-”

 

“hyung, i don’t know what’s going on in your mind, i don’t know what’s bothering you, but there is nothing, nothing you need to apologise for at all. i just want you to be okay, to be the happy wonwoo i know. if there’s anything bothering you hyung, tell me,” mingyu whispered softly, his lips landing a soft kiss on wonwoo’s hair to calm the older boy.

 

“y-you won’t, you won’t leave me right? if i told you? y-you won’t run away or call m-me disgusting? you won’t right? p-promise me y-you won’t, please,” wonwoo whispered in his wobbly voice.

 

mingyu cupped wonwoo’s face and forced him to make eye contact.

 

“i’ll never leave you, wonwoo, never, you mean way too much to me, you don’t even know,” mingyu said, his eyes never leaving wonwoo’s gaze.

 

_ i mean way too much… to him. i don’t deserve him… _

 

“m-mingyu, i-” wonwoo hesitated for a moment, unable to find the correct word to phrase the whole mess. but he could feel mingyu’s thumb pressing soft circles into his back to relax him and he knew mingyu would not leave him in that moment.

 

_ i love mingyu… i trust him… _

 

“w-when i was in middle school,” wonwoo paused to hiccup, “i had this best friend, and he meant everything to me… and i- he was always there for me and i loved him for that... “ 

 

wonwoo looked like he did not want to continue.

 

mingyu stroked his back again to comfort him.

 

“and i loved him… more than a best friend? i felt this kind of attraction to him and i thought about it for the longest time and i realised, that maybe… m-maybe i was g-gay? and i finally got the courage to tell him, that i liked him, that i was gay b-but… he told me i was disgusting for being gay, for liking men, f-for even daring to tell him i had a crush on him,” another sob racked through wonwoo’s body and he started trembling almost violently, “and he t-told the whole school and everyone hated me and they said t-that i should d-die.”

 

“i couldn’t take the bullying anymore and i just, one night, i just walked to the riverside, that exact spot where you stood a-and, and i, i- i almost,” he cried, “ i almost jumped in, if it weren’t for that lady who stopped me and b-bought me dinner and told me it was okay to be myself, i- i shouldn’t sacrifice who i am to be s-someone’s version of normal a-and that kinda stuck with me, and i- i guess i-im more okay with myself now b-but i never really tell anyone that i-i’m gay? b-because of the trauma, i just kinda closed in on myself and going back to the place just reminded me of everything and i kinda just broke down, i’m so so sorry, i just completely lost it and ruined the night, i’m sorry,” wonwoo said, completely emptied of all his emotions.

 

_ did i just come out to him? why is he still here? is he not disgusted with me? shouldn’t he run away and just disappear? _

 

“don’t you hate me?” wonwoo asked, honestly not afraid that mingyu would just vanish away from his arms. it seemed to be the appropriate reaction to him.

 

“hyung, being gay isn’t some kind of disease or condition i should hate or stay away from, hyung, it’s ok to like men. who are people to tell you who to fall in love with and who not to fall in love with? you can choose whatever and whoever you want, this is your life. and if it makes you feel any better, i’m bisexual, hyung. i’m attracted to men and women.. and there’s this one boy i’ve really really really grown to like over the years,” mingyu said, looking at wonwoo as though he were the only star in the night sky.

 

wonwoo’s shoulders instantly slumped and he looked visibly deflated. yes, there was no denying now that he was gay and had a major crush on mingyu but mingyu liking someone already? what was the use? this really was not the best day for wonwoo. he really just wanted to go back to sleep. he was so damn tired. 

 

_ i don't think my insomnia can even stop me from falling asleep this time. _

 

“i- i think i should go to sleep mingyu-yah,” wonwoo said, his voice barely audible. 

 

“aren't you gonna ask who the boy is?” mingyu asked a little shamefully while scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

 

“fine, who is it?” wonwoo asked, his voice cracking.

 

“you.”

 

“what?” wonwoo had never whipped his head around so fast in his life. his heart was palpitating wildly against his chest and everything in his peripheral vision was just blurring away into nothingness. 

 

“y-you what?” wonwoo gasped again, unable to believe anything going on. he pinched himself slightly and felt a sharp pain.

 

_ this is real. did my crush just… confess to me? _

 

“yeah, hyung, i like, i have always had, i don't know what attracted me to you but i've always had this instinct to protect you and take care of you and to always just be there for you and i just really want to love you and hug you and hold hands with you and take you out on sweet dates and kiss you and do all those couple things with you, hyung. i'm sorry if this was so sudden, maybe you should rest. goodnigh-” mingyu's rambling was cut off by a pair of soft lips on his. the kiss started off soft and gentle, lips brushing lips, wonwoo constantly tugging on mingyu’s bottom lip, forcing him to open up but mingyu denied him that satisfaction and teased him with his tongue tracing the other’s lips. mingyu pulled wonwoo closer, down onto his lap once again that night but this time to deepen the soft pressure of the other’s mouth on his. after a few more seconds of tugging of their soft and pliable lips, wonwoo relented and  opened his mouth, letting mingyu explore the deep warm caverns with his tongue. wonwoo pulled away, leaving mingyu chasing his lips for more, like an eager puppy and wonwoo just bumped his forehead with mingyu’s.

 

“y-you really have liked me for years?” wonwoo whispered, his grin, the widest it had been for years.

 

“yeah, and what about you?” mingyu asked his lips slightly brushing softly against wonwoo’s addictive ones once again.

 

“yeah, for quite a long time,” wonwoo replied.

 

mingyu lay on the bed and pulled wonwoo down so that he could cuddle the older boy who had been through so much.

 

“you know, i’m so thankful for that woman who saved you, i-if she didn’t, i- i don’t know what i’d be doing with my life right now, everything had always revolved around you, my thoughts, my emotions, everything,” mingyu confessed and wonwoo felt his heart clench. he was insanely grateful to that lady as well, for letting him see that there was so much more to the world and it did not have to end that way. 

 

mingyu snuggled wonwoo into his warm chest and pressed another feather-light kiss on the boy’s forehead and wonwoo had never felt so much love for someone in his entire life and he was so eternally grateful for all the stars that had aligned for him.

 

“hyung, i just want you to know, that no matter what, whether i was bi or gay or straight, i would’ve always respected you for being you because you’re such an amazing person and you’ve always worked so hard and being gay doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. there’s nothing wrong with loving who you want to love, okay?” and with another shared peck and an affirmative embrace, the two boys fell asleep, without a bother in the world, knowing that they held their very own universe in their own arms.

**Author's Note:**

> do leave comments n kudos if u enjoyed the story uwu !


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